


Good For Something

by impish_nature



Series: The Unknown [1]
Category: Gravity Falls
Genre: Burnt bridges, Gen, I'm sorry it's just angst, Set after the portal reunion, Stan and Ford are still fighting, Warning: Bad mental state, warning: suicidal ideation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-18
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-18 10:56:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9381416
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impish_nature/pseuds/impish_nature
Summary: A late night conversation that doesn’t really get to the bottom of things.It’s hard to explain what’s wrong when you’ve spent so long apart.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little thing I had to get out of my head.  
> Warning: bad mental state and vague allusions to suicidal ideation.

“Stan?”

Ford recoiled slightly as he walked into the kitchen, the room mostly dark, when something shifted before him. It was the middle of the night, he’d only snuck out of his room to get a drink and yet his brother was sat at the table, in the gloom, as if he’d been sat there so long he hadn’t even noticed it had gotten dark. “Stan?” He got a noncommittal grunt for his efforts which made him frown, irritation bubbling below the surface. “What are you doing?”

“Writing.”

Ford’s frown vanished behind surprise, curiosity taking over when he heard the familiar scritch scratch of a pen across paper, his eyes not yet adjusted to really see what Stan was up to. “Writing? What on Earth are you writing in the middle of the night?”

Stan’s shoulders shrugged, the man still not deigning to look up at him. “I dunno, just- stuff. It seems to help you and Dipper, I thought I’d give it a try.”

Ford scowled at the answer, eyes narrowing as he stepped across the threshold and towards the sink, frustration hot and fizzling through his chest as his words came out waspish. “Yes, well, it only helps if someone actually reads it-”

“Six- Ford, don’t. I… I don’t want an argument. Not tonight.”

Ford paused, not quite able to turn back to his brother as the whisper breathed out of him, quiet and low but with only them it was still clearly audible. There was something in it that made him nervous, soft acceptance, maybe? Or perhaps the complete and utter lack of fiery retort that he had come to associate with his brother? “All… alright.”

Silence reigned between them for a while, as Ford filled a glass at the sink and Stan sat steadily tapping his pen. It was tense and cold throughout, the air filled with so many words that should be spoken between them and bitter silence all the same.

“You know…” Stan coughed, a gruff almost choke that brought Ford back into the room. His eyes shot to his brother, whose head was still bowed above the page. “You know, this wasn’t what was meant to happen. It was… it was supposed to get better when you got back.” Stan groaned, rubbing at his face until his glasses slipped up his forehead. “Sorry, ignore that. I didn’t mean to say that. I really, _really_ don’t want an argument.”

“Yeah?” Ford couldn’t help the bite, couldn’t help the wish that it had been better too, but it couldn’t be- because it _never_ should have happened, so he crushed the hope before it could sway him. “Well, what _do_ you want, Stan?”

Stan snorted, the sound cold and hollow, leaving a bitter taste in Ford’s mouth. “How the hell should I know?”

Ford sighed, sitting across from his brother and setting his drink down. “Is this about the conversation we had before? Stan, I just want my life back-”

“I know. I understand.”

“Then…?”

Stan ignored him, resting his head on his hand as he looked out of the doorway, facing towards the gift shop even though he couldn’t see it. “I was just good at it, you know?”

“Excuse me?”

“The Mr Mystery stuff- I think I might have actually been good at it. I think I quite liked it. I always did like selling things, but this way I got to sell an experience and people kept coming back for more.” His smile was soft, nostalgic. “Didn’t hurt no one, and people liked me- People liked it.”

Ford gave a groan, leaning back in his chair. “So it is about that. Stan, you really didn’t think you could carry on using my house like that once I was back, did you?”

Stan shrugged again, Ford’s hackles raising as he still refused to look at him. “I dunno. I didn’t really plan this far.”

“So, this is the crux of it? You want to continue your little- farce?”

Stan winced at that, just a small hitch of breath before his face levelled out again, still staring into nothingness. Ford bit his lip, a small bubble of shame dousing the flames.

Maybe he could have worded that differently, at the very least.

“Nah. That’s not it. No real point to it now, is there? It was just a way to get you back, after all. It’s lost its… purpose now. No use to anybody.”

“Then why-?”

Stan sighed, cutting him off. “Why bring it up? I was writing, Ford, now I’m talking out loud. I’d be putting my thoughts somewhere whether you were here or not. You’re just asking questions so I’m answering them too.”

“Oh.” Ford tilted his head, accepting but perplexed, eyes drawn to the page beneath Stan’s hands even if he shielded it away from his gaze.

Something about all of this didn’t sit right with him, something clawing up his back in an attempt to make him see whatever it was he wasn’t getting.

A piece to the puzzle lost on the floor somewhere that he needed to see the full picture.

He scrutinised his brother once more as he pushed the chair back from the table, deciding this conversation was going nowhere. “You should go to bed soon. You’ll regret it when the kids get up.”

Stan shook his head, a bemused smile on his face as he continued to stare into the distance. “ _Please_ , I’ve run rings around them with far less sleep. S’funny, you think it’d be easy to sleep now but I’m so used to being up every night and working the days that I can’t seem to get my sleep schedule back on-”

The glass slamming onto the table top made him jolt, eyes snapping to it, yet still not to Ford.

“What is this, Stan? Do you want me to say ‘thank you’? Is that it? Is this your way of guilting me? Or perhaps you want me to say sorry-” Ford made a strangled irritated noise as Stan slowly shook his head. “Then what? What is all this?”

“Nothing. It’s nothing, Sixer.” Stan sighed, looking at the page again. “I just needed a moment- and then you came in so I just- ran my mouth off, as usual.” He ran a hand through his hair, sheepishly looking at the floor. “I don’t know what I’m doing, I should just stop talking. But hey, can’t make the situation worse, can I? So I just keep-” His fingers dug into his scalp, Ford could see his hand tightening in the gloom before he visibly deflated, hunching in on himself. “I didn’t want this.”

Ford couldn’t find it in him to be angry either in that moment, suddenly far too tired, his voice filled with exasperation. “Then what did you want, Stanley?”

“I don’t _know_!” Stan finally snapped, hands slamming into the table and Ford froze, gripping the glass to make sure it didn’t tip over with the motion. His eyes sought out Ford’s in a moment of frenzy, as if he was trying to make him understand, trying to convey something with gaze alone. There was the fire that Ford had been missing, the palpable spark that had been engulfing every conversation they had had since he had returned but somehow it didn’t seem directed at him this time. Directed inwards, annoyance that he couldn’t get the words out to make Ford understand what he was trying to say, or perhaps frustration that he didn’t really understand it all himself.

And within a moment of staring at Ford, eyes darting this way and that as if willing him to make sense of it for him so that he didn’t have to explain, the spark vanished.

He turned back away from him, eyes back to the paper before him, the pen tapping in his hand before stopping completely.

And then he laughed.

It sent a shiver down Ford’s spine, the bark a sharp crackle of ice, devoid of mirth.

“Yeah I do. I just want to sleep.”

“Then go to bed.” Ford sighed, standing up and drawing away from the table. He had had enough, this conversation was setting his teeth on edge and his hackles rising for some reason and he wanted nothing more than to get away from it. Too many mixed emotions, too much confusion, it was all too close, too soon.

He had been away from home too long.

“ _Heh_ … That’s not what I meant.”

Ford blinked at the whisper filtering in from behind his back, the soft odd accepting tone that he couldn’t quite understand still laced throughout Stan’s voice. He turned slowly, eyebrows furrowed and mouth open but the table was deserted, his brother nowhere to be seen.

“…Stan?”

* * *

 

There were flames everywhere, sweeping through the room, crackling and popping whenever they came across something they could consume.

And there was a lot to consume in here.

But though he continued to feed the fire, all he felt was cold.

Stan smiled sadly, watching the blue light flicker at the edges of his vision, watched it creep every closer to where he stood.

He clutched tight to the most precious thing in his mindscape so it would be the last thing to fall, let the rest of the world burn away as he continued to stare at it, unwilling to let it go just yet, even as the room started to crumble and fall in around him.

A small laugh escaped him, a sad, self-deprecating noise. But then the tightness that clutched at his chest lifted and the sound grew lighter, more genuine. The solid leaden lump that had been a constant for so long, the insidious whispers and venomous snarls, all fell away along with the memories.

They couldn’t reach him now, the voices, reduced to ashes along with everything else as he continued to stare at the photo, his finger tracing the smiling faces.

_“Guess I was good for something, after all.”_

**Author's Note:**

> …I promise that the next fic being written is cavity inducing fluff? ♥  
> I did wonder about an extra scene in this - with Ford seeing his brother the next day acting normal with the kids and brushing away the conversation but I didn’t know if it actually worked or not *shrugs* So I left it as it was and I hope that you liked it ♥


End file.
